just me, searching..

well, im officially gonna be unemployed for this whole year until i fully recover.

my mum thought this will be a good chance for me to recreate myself, my thoughts, my figure and to really think what i want to do. it has been ard 3 mths since i started treatment and i seriously hope i’ll have a speedy recovery. really hoping that i can recover by mid-year. there has been improvement on my condition but certain places do come and go. so frustrating.

i just really pray that my faith will be strong and can keep me going on. i’ve also shaved bald and now i think i look like a little boy. being at home everyday is making me think too much. too much of negative stuff and too much of things which i cant do right now and how i feel that alot of time is being lost!

i just want to be a normal healthy person with nice skin and having a job which i’ll enjoy working in. of course to top it up, to have someone special to share my feelings with and being there for me. now is probably not the right time to meet anyone new cause im sure they’ll be scared of by my condition.

i know i should keep myself happy and think of happy stuff. but seriously, my life is so stagnant now i cant think of anything that happy to last me.

argh.

ugh.

~courage and faith~